Μαθήματα Αγγλικών

Κι ενω το καλοκαίρι τσούλαγε προς το τέλος χωρίς κάτι να διαταράσσει την απραξία του, ήταν μόλις χτες που πήρα ένα ευγενικό e-μεηλ το οποίο έγραφε: “So sorry about my whining but a great big "thank you" for your understanding and the moral support. Take care and don't get caught whatever you do”.

Ποτέ δεν τα πήγα καλα με τα μεγάλα λόγια, ειδικά τα μεγάλα και βαριά "ευχαριστω", "παρακαλώ" και τα ρέστα, ήταν που έψαχνα και μια ευκαιρία οπότε πήρα το θαρρος να ξεσκονίσω τ' αγγλικά μου κι απάντησα:

“Sorry for getting back to you but I’m kinda got into deep trouble! But plz let me explain:

I was carrying your big fat and heavy “thank you” that you gave me on my shoulders, as I was walking in the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live, trying to get back home. I was really tired under the hot sun and I couldn’t handle the weight of that “thank you”. I was also thirsty and hungry and it seemed like it was a long way till home. For a moment I thought that it ‘d be a good idea to throw it away and forget about it but then I felt guilty and kept carrying it.

A few hours later in the deep desert of the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live, I saw an old lady dressed in black selling refreshment and water. I had no money at all but I couldn’t resist and I asked her to take that beautiful big “thank you” as an exchange for a really cold glass of water. She looked at me, then laughed at me and then told me: “Fuck U, are you kidding me? What on earth should I do with a big thank you? Get lost!”.

[all the old ladies here in the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live say “fuck u" when they talk]

A few hours later in the gray cement field of the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live, I saw a young guy selling beers and gums in a small cave. I thought that I could try one more time and asked him to take that new shiny “thank you” I was carrying in exchange for just only a cold fucking beer. He didnt even look at me but I heard his answer loud in my ears: “Is this a fucking joke man? What should I do with a shiny thank you? Take it away cause you are hiding the sun from my eyes!”

[all the young guys here in the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live say “fucking" when they talk]

A couple of hours later in the dirty dark alleys of the the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live, I saw a young girl dressed in white with her bike. She had a flat tire and she was trying to phone someone for help as she didnt know how to fix it. I thought “That’s my chance!”. I stopped and asked if she needed any help and she smiled like an angel and she said “yeah! I need someone to help me!” and I said “well, I guess you’ve just found your hero!” and she laughed but not like the old lady before. It was a really nice laughter that really made me forget the weight of the big heavy “thank you” that I was carrying. I put the “thank you” down for a bit and fixed her flat. When I finished I thought I could ask her something in exchange for the big “thank you” I had but she was in a hurry and she said: “I have nothing to give you to thank you and I see that you have already a huge super "thank you" with you so I think it’s better to give you a wet kiss that will give you strength to return to your home!”. And so she did kiss me. Then she just left so I lifted my “thank you” and kept going...

I’m home now, I ‘ve taken a bath, I swallowed about a ton of cold water, now I’m having a hot espresso along with more cold water as I write to you this fucking e-mail. After long thoughts and wandering in the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live, I thought I could ask you to allow me to return back that very-beautiful-indeed big super “thank you” cause it’s too heavy for me to carry it and it makes me hungry and thirsty. If you have anything smaller to give like a beer or a maybe a sunrise it would be OK! But if you got nothing, please, just accept it back and don’t let me carry it till the end of my life in the Land-of-fucking-Lost-Minds where I fucking live for the last 100 years or more!

[all the guys here in the Land-of-the-Lost-Minds where I live, we say “fucking" when we talk]

Hope to hear from you soon!”

Σήμερα το πρωί ξύπνησα κι ήταν ακόμα σκοτάδι. Ο ήλιος ανέτειλε στις 7 παρά 10. Προλάβαινα. Λίγο μετά δυο ποδήλατα ήταν ριγμένα στα βράχια της θάλασσας. Δυο άνθρωποι συναντήθηκαν μόνο για να χαζέψουν τα χρώματα της ανατολής καπνιζοντας ενα τσιγάρο...